Shalom Zachor: what it is, what to serve, and invitation wording

Mazel tov — a baby boy! Before the bris, on the very first Friday night after he is born, many families make a Shalom Zachor. Friends and neighbours come to the home after the Friday night seudah to wish mazel tov, eat a little, sing and share words of Torah. This guide covers what a Shalom Zachor is, the reasons behind it, what to serve, and how to let people know.

What is a Shalom Zachor?

A Shalom Zachor ("welcoming the male child") is a gathering held at home on the first Friday night after a boy is born. It is usually informal: guests come after their own Friday night meal, there are refreshments on the table, someone says a dvar Torah, and there is singing. The custom is mentioned by the Rema in the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De'ah 265).

Why we make one

Several reasons are given:

• "Ba zachar ba shalom." The Gemara (Niddah 31b) says that when a boy comes into the world, peace comes into the world. The gathering celebrates that.
• Comforting the baby. The Gemara (Niddah 30b) teaches that before birth a child is taught the whole Torah by a malach and forgets it at birth. The Shalom Zachor is described as a kind of comforting visit — which is also one reason chickpeas, a traditional food for mourners, are served.
• Shabbos before the bris. The baby has now experienced a Shabbos, and Shabbos is connected to the bris, which is why the Shalom Zachor falls on the Friday night before it.

When is it held?

On the first Friday night after the birth, after the seudah — typically from around an hour after candle lighting, later in the summer. If the baby is born on Friday night itself, families follow their own custom or ask their Rav about whether to make it that week. When the Shalom Zachor falls out on a Yom Tov night or another special time, ask your Rav how to proceed.

What to serve

There is no fixed menu, but the classic Shalom Zachor table has:

• Arbes (nahit / chickpeas) — cooked and peppered, the signature food.
• Beer and other drinks, often with a l'chaim.
• Fruit, cake and pastries.
• Kugel — in many chassidish homes, a hot kugel is served.
• Nuts and candies for the children who come along with their fathers.

Many families keep it simple; the point is the gathering, not the spread. Neighbours often offer to bake something — a nice way to share in the simcha.

Letting people know: invitation wording

Because a Shalom Zachor happens within a few days of the birth, it is usually announced quickly: at shul, on a community WhatsApp group, or with a simple flyer. Keep it short — what, where, when.

English

Shalom Zachor
for the newborn son of Reb Yaakov Gross
this Friday night, parshas ____, at 9:00 PM
at the family home, 14 Maple Avenue
Mazel tov!
Hebrew / Yiddish

שלום זכר
בשעה טובה ומוצלחת נולד בן
אצל ר' יעקב גראס
ליל שבת קודש פרשת ____ בשעה 9:00
ברחוב מייפל 14
מזל טוב!
Some families add the time of the bris once it is set, but most announce the bris separately.

Making the announcement with Kall Simcha

Kall Simcha is a free app for simcha invitations and cards in Hebrew, Yiddish and English. For a Shalom Zachor or a bris you can:

• pick a ready design and fill in the details;
• share it straight to WhatsApp, so it reaches the community group in seconds;
• and for the bris or kiddush that follows, collect RSVPs and see a live headcount.

It runs in the browser on any phone, with nothing to install.

A few practical tips

1. Prepare on Friday morning. Arbes can be cooked ahead; drinks and cake bought early.
2. Clear a path. Guests come and go, and many bring young children.
3. Ask a friend to say a dvar Torah if the new father prefers not to.
4. Plan the bris next. Our guide to bar mitzvah, bris and upsherin invitation wording has bris examples.

Mazel tov, and may you raise him l'Torah, l'chuppah u'lemaasim tovim!